Life is depressing sometimes

Lately I feel like I've been wasting away on my couch, surfing the web and looking at Facebook. I'm feeling really discouraged about everything because it seems like getting out of Florida will be a bigger task than I had anticipated. As a result I have either been laying around being unproductive or gone out drinking (or even stayed in and drank at home). I suppose this is my latest way of dealing with my depression.

Anyway, in order to get out of here now, I will have to either wait for an opening with my company to become available or leave the company entirely. I've been wanting to do the latter for a long time but unfortunately, with today's sucky economy, it will be another difficult task to overcome.

Problem #1: Most companies don't want to bother with an applicant who is not currently residing in the state in which they wish to re-locate to. They have a million other candidates, why settle on the one from out of town?

Problem #2: although I'd love to pick up and leave so that I can look for a job, it's ultra risky. I do have some vacation time saved up but what if I can't find a job in 3 weeks? Chances are I won't, and then what do I do?

Regardless of the problems, I think it might be time to move on. I'm not happy with doing what I am doing and I should do something that motivates me and makes me happy. (Hmm, it's like deja-vu only the last time I had a similar idea it wasn't work I was referring to)

It's funny how these days, things that were once simple are so difficult, like finding a job. I think it's so depressing. Goals that in another point in time were normal and easily attainable seem so far away and unlikely to happen (having a great job, owning a home, being in a perfect relationship). I really expected to have my life be more together at this point in time but I feel like it's a bigger mess than ever, in all aspects. I wonder what will become of me and if it'll all work itself out in the end. All I can do is keep trying.

My ironic life

I hate the way life works out sometimes. As we all know, Valentine's day is coming up and this is the first year in a long time that I will be single for it. My anniversary used to be on this day and every year, it was a hassle to try to get the day off because other people also wanted the day off. Several times I had to work an early shift so that I could at least have the evening free. Well, ironically this year, the year that V-Day means nothing to me and the year that I wouldn't mind working, I get the day off. How annoying is that? I swear, sometimes I feel like there's a higher being controlling my life and torturing me while laughing at my misery.

So anyway, now I have to figure out what I will do that day. Maybe there's some kind of support group for the pathetically single out there. ;)

Pointless Planning

I've come to the conclusion that planning anything is completely pointless because nothing ever goes as planned, or at least for me it doesn't. This happens to me all the time, at home, at work, everywhere and frankly, it's annoying. Why put so much time and effort on something that's bound to fail?

What am I talking about? Well, my most recent pointless planning is my move to San Francisco. I planned everything out and nothing seemed to work out. I won't get into the details but at this point, I feel like the entire thing wasn't meant to be. Sometimes things don't work out for a reason and I really feel this is the case here. As a result, I will go with my original idea which is going back to NYC. I'm not quite setting a date or anything this time around. We'll just see what happens. ;)

Revisiting my geekdom

So this week I have been in flashback mode. Why? Well as you all know I am on facebook and someone on there decided to create a group for people who used to chat on these telnet chatrooms back when I was in college. The original chatroom was called the megadiner. This was a chatroom for fans of the band Megadeth. Later that chat shut down and others called The Promised Land and The Tavern were created. I was a regular on all of them. I spent many hours on these chats during college and even met some of my chatroom buddies irl. (in real life for those of you who aren't as geeky ;) Anyway, after college ended, those chats did as well and most of us lost touch. I hadn't thought much about any of this until this week when I was invited to join the group on facebook. It's been so much fun talking to people who I hadn't heard from in a long time and seeing what everyone's up to. To make things even more fun, they set up an IRC chatroom for us to use and the first day it was up, I literally spent about 8 hours on there. I totally lost track of time but it was a lot of fun. When I told some of my regular friends about, it they thought I was a total geek for being on a chat all day but I don't care. So have geekish tendencies. Deal with it! ;)

Anyway, here is the link to the facebook group site:
GlobalPromised Land and Tavern Alumni (and old original Megadiner crew!)
Global

The megadiner chat lives on!! ;)

San Francisco, Here I Come!

So although most of you know this by now, I haven't made an official announcement yet, so here it is: I am moving to San Francisco! That's right, I am leaving Miami and starting a new adventure in California! I know I had originally planned on going back to NYC, but I decided to try something new and San Francisco is the only other city in the US that I would ever consider living in so I'm giving it a shot! There's nothing more exciting than starting over in a brand new place you've never been and you only have one shot at life so I may as well try it now! Besides, NYC will always be there for me if I ever decide I want to go back.

Anyway, I should be leaving here after January. I added an updated counter so those are the number of days left before my new life! :) I am pretty excited about it! I will have a new city to write about! The good thing about this move is that unlike when I moved here, I will actually have some friends who live in the area so I won't be completely alone and they can help me explore the city. That always makes for a better transition.

Well, I have a million things left to do before I leave here so stay tuned on my progress (or procrastination)!

The disadvantage of working retail

I've been working in retail for 6 years now (scary) and although I manage to survive doing so, there are many disadvantages for working in this industry, especially during the holidays. Sure this time of year is what we all look forward to because this is the time of year when we make the most money, but it's also the time of year when we all pretty much become slaves to whatever company we work for. There is no 4-day Thanksgiving weekend, or 4-day Christmas weekend, or even flying home for any of the end-of-the-year holidays because that would mean not being at work and unless you want to be fired, that is not really an option. Now, I've never been one to care much about the holidays, but after not having a life for so long, it's starting to get to me. I want to have the option to go home and be with my family if I choose to do so. And I want to have a 4-day weekend to do nothing but sadly, if I continue to work in this industry, that will never really be an option for me. Don't get me wrong, there are things I like about what do, but I don't want to do this for the rest of my life (if I ever really want to have one). Then again I never planned on doing this for as long as I have. I guess there are worse things in life, like being unemployed for 9 months (been there, done that). Anyway, I guess I'm just rambling at this point. I'm just feeling annoyed at the fact that I can't do what I really want to do right now. Someday...

Home Sweet Home?

So as most of you know, I live in a small 1-bedroom apartment in Hollywood with my dog, Perry. This is the first apartment I've ever had to myself. I always had a roommate and never lived alone so the whole experience is rather new to me. I wasn't sure how I would react to being by myself because I'm not a huge fan of doing things solo. It has now been three months since I moved out on my own and although I have been ok with the living alone aspect, one thing I am lacking is a sense of feeling at home. Maybe it's because I'm missing all the nice furniture and commodities I had enjoyed for so long, or maybe it's because my apartment isn't as nice as the ones I lived in before. Perhaps it also has to do with the fact that I don't really like living in Florida, but whatever the case may be, I never come home and feel like it's "home sweet home." I wonder what it'll take for me to feel that way again. I miss coming home and feeling comfortable and wanting to be there more than anywhere else, or really looking forward to being there at the end of the day. Maybe things will be different at my next location. We shall soon find out!