One year later

It's officially May and you know what that means? It's been almost a year since I returned to Brooklyn. It's kind of crazy to think that I've been back for that long already and it's really got me thinking about things. My move back here was a last-minute decision based on circumstances beyond my control so it wasn't entirely planned out. Fortunately things like finding a job have worked out well, however, I am still not sold on the idea of staying in NYC long-term. I'm not sure this is the lifestyle I want for the rest of my life. I promised myself I'd give it a shot to see how things go, but so far I'm not sure I want to stay here. Despite the length of time that I've been back, I still don't feel at home and I miss the quality of life that I had in other states. Ultimately the lifestyle I want would not be one that I would have if I stayed in the city. Most people here would think I was crazy if I told them what I want because it sounds so cliche and boring but it's what I seek. I want to have a big modern house in a nice quiet neighborhood that I can drive home to (emphasis on drive) every night where I would be greeted by my dog(s) and future husband. If I stay in NYC I wouldn't have a big modern house, I'd be commuting home on the train and I'd probably be single because everyone who's single out here seems to be too busy to have a relationship. These are the things I consider when I think about the possibility of staying here. I think that deep down I know I won't stay, it's a matter of getting myself together and planning my escape. Anyway, it's something I'll just have to figure out by the end of the year. I will say that thought of a new adventure excites me and what keeps me going each day. It's funny to think how many people out there would envy me for living in NYC. It's not terrible, I just don't think it's right for me.