I wonder...

So being that I am currently unemployed, I have plenty of free time to do as I please. This can either be a good or bad thing depending on how productive I am. I tend to get easily distracted and will spend hours on Yelp or other websites. I've been trying to go running more because I can fell myself getting fatter by the minute. Anyway, free time also means lots of time for me to ponder about things. The other day I was thinking about how every decision you make affects your life and how some decisions, although you may not realize it at the time, can completely change your life's course. I think back to my days in Florida and there are a couple of choices I made that altered my life forever. Sometimes it's about things that you do, or don't do, or people that you meet. I find myself wondering "what if..." and where I would be right now had I made a different choice than the one I did. I don't dwell on these things, but it's interesting how life is like a "Choose Your Own Adventure" book. I only wish life came with a manual where you could skip ahead to different outcomes so you could make the best choice.

What is a date?

So as you all know, I'm not a big fan of dating in the city. It hasn't quite been the best experience for me but being that I'm staying here, I'm giving it another shot.

One of the things that I can't stand about dating is that half the time I'm not sure what's a date and what is not. I mean I guess the word date means something different to everyone. To me, a date is when someone asks you out, whether it be to dinner/drinks or whatever, and they pay for it. These days that definition seems to be so obsolete, at least in my experience. Perhaps I'm attracting the wrong kind of guys. I don't know but there have only been a select few that have been gentlemen about it. I mean, I always offer to pay for my food/drinks but if someone asks me out, I expect him to pay. It's all just very confusing and frustrating. All I know is that first impressions are everything and if a guy throws the bill in front of my face after he asked me out and it wasn't even expensive ($20 really?) I'm out. And yes, that really happened to me.

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Change of Heart

So I obviously haven't updated this blog in a while. A lot has happened since my last post but before anything I just wanted to make my official announcement that I will not be moving to CA after all. I went out there set to find an apartment and during the trip, I had several realizations that made me ultimately decided to stay in NYC. The only bad part about all this is that now I am job hunting which has been a bit of a slow process but I'm trying to make the best of the situation. I've been enjoying my free time as much as possible. It's been nice to be able to do things on the weekends. Working in retail I was rarely off on Saturdays and Sundays so it's been nice having a bit of a life.

Anyway, now that I have all the time in the world, I should be able to update this blog on a more consistent basis. Well, we'll see how that goes. ;)

All I want for Xmas...

This year has gone by quite fast. I can't believe it's almost Christmas. The sad thing is that it doesn't even feel like it to me. Maybe it's because I have no one special in my life right now. It's like they say, it's not where you are but who you're with, and right now it's just me. I've been feeling especially lonely lately but I've been trying not to think about it and instead keep busy with planning my escape from the Big Apple. I don't think I could stay here another year and maintain my sanity. I've just been unhappy here. Sure there have been some good times, but overall, it's just not what I am looking for. The time had come for me to break up with NYC. It should all be finalized in mid February. I have a new year in a new city to look forward to. Hopefully this will be where I will find my one, or where he will find me.

Loving my Evo!

So, I did it! I left T-mobile and switched over to Sprint to get the phone I wanted, the HTC Evo and I love it! In fact I am blogging on it right now! Fun times ahead!

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Wine time

I'm in the middle of having a bottle of wine all to myself. Sometimes it feels like that's all I do when I'm alone. It's my "me time" to relax and reflect on things but usually it turns into me reminiscing about the past. This generally ends up in me being in a melancholy mood. I begin to think about "better times" and ultimately this makes me feel sad. I know better though, but wine has a way of throwing any common sense out the window. It's funny how wine affects me differently depending on the situation. If I am out with someone and having fun, it can have the opposite effect on me. I guess this means I need to limit my solo wine consumption.

What to do...

Time flies here in NYC. I can't believe it's already Fall and I've passed my one year mark here in the City. A lot has happened since my last post and instead of things being clearer, I feel more confused than ever about everything. I had initially decided that I'd be leaving NY to move to CA, but now part of me is having second thoughts. I still have issues with NYC life but I don't know that moving right now is necessarily the best choice.

Perhaps I am over-thinking things. I don't quite know. I do know that regardless of whether I leave here or not, some changes in my life need to happen fast.

On a lighter note, I am ready to get a new phone. Last year I bought a Nokia N97 and for the longest time that was my dream phone. Today, that phone is up for auction on ebay. It was a decent phone but did not live up to my expectations. I am now looking for a new one. I really want the HTC Evo because it has all the features I want in a phone (except a qwerty keyboard) but it is only available on the Sprint network and they don't use SIM cards so purchasing an unlocked version is not an option. The new Iphone is nice but I'd have to switch over to AT&T and I hear to many complaints about their network so I wonder if it's worth it, especially since it would cost me more than my current plan.

Tonight I saw the G2 for the first time and overall I like it. It has everything I want in a phone with the exception of a secondary camera for video chatting. For some reason I really want one. It was one feature thing that my N97 had that I really liked. I'm not sure I'd do much video chatting anyway but it was nice to have as to use as a mirror (slightly lame, I know). Anyway, this may be my next choice which would mean I am sticking with T-mobile for now. A part of me didn't want to change carriers anyway. It's the one thing in my life that's remained consistent for the past 7 years or so and for some reason, it bothers me to think of leaving them. Perhaps my relationship with T-mobile has a deeper meaning for me.

Anyway, all this phone shopping made me realize that nothing is ever perfect and sometimes you have to let some things go in order to reach some sort of happy medium.