A New Beginning

One of my biggest flaws is that I have a tendency to be a little on the insecure side when it comes to making decisions. I have been known to take risks in the past (like going to school in AZ when I'd never been there before) but the past few years, for some reason, I've doubted myself. I guess it's a fear of making the wrong decision and later regretting it for the rest of my life. That's kind of how I felt about my most recent life-altering decision to be single again after so many years. It was a decision I had been putting off for a while because I was afraid of making the wrong choice, not to mention all the people who questioned my decision because it didn't make sense to them. This made me second guess myself, putting off the inevitable.

Even after I had finalized my decision to pursue life on my own, a little part of me wondered if I had indeed made the right decision. It felt right but one can never tell. One thing I knew was that my break-up was going to be different from everyone else's. It was going to be an amicable decision and my ex and I were to remain good friends. At least this is what was said. I was all for it and had no doubt in my mind that I could handle that. After all, we'd been together for so long, how could you just throw it all away, right? Well, apparently I was wrong. Although this was supposedly what was going to happen, nothing could be further from the truth. Something happened the other night which proved to me that what was said was a complete lie. There will be no post-break-up friendship. My relationship was to end with no future contact. (Well, there was the one encounter because there was money aat stake, but that will be all). I refuse to say what happened to make me realize this, but honestly, it doesn't really matter. The point is that no matter how well you think you may know someone, you never truly know them 100%. In a way I'm glad this happened because it confirms the fact that I made the right choice. It's time for a new beginning.