Changes...

Moving to a completely different place can be exciting because it presents you with the opportunity to re-invent yourself if that is what you choose. I didn't really seek to do so but I have definitely changed since I left NJ and not necessarily for the better. I mean, some changes have been good; I've started running pretty consistently and I'm eating better (I want to lose 20 pounds). However, I've also been drinking more than before. I definietely drank quite a bit when I lived in NJ because I would go out with my friends but that was really the only time I ever would so it was maybe once or twice a week at the most. I never really kept much (if any) liquor in my home because drinking alone never really appealed to me. Living here though has provided me with plenty of alone time which I have turned into an opportunity to mix drinks. I must say I can now make some pretty good martinis but I should probably stop drinking so consistently. I generally do it out of boredom, to get over a tough day or to take my mind off things. I guess the problem is that I do it more than once or twice a week. Not that I'm an alcoholic because I don't depend on it and I know I could never get to that point. It's just something I do and I know I really shouldn't.

Most recently I've also been shopping more than I should, again partly out of boredom but also to make myself feel better about things. Buying myself something I can't afford makes me feel good temporarily but ultimately makes me feel worse because I know it's not a wise choice. I guess I justify it because if everything else is going crappy why not make myself feel good even if it's on Visa? To make matters worse, living around here you tend to come across people that are pretty well off and buy nice things like it's no big deal. It kind of increases your desire to have expensive things too. I haven't bought myself anything outrageous or anything but it bothers me that I have charged a couple of things and I know better than that yet did it anyway. I'm afraid one day I'll go all out and spend a ridiculous amount of money I don't have like I did when I was younger.

I think Miami is killing me. ;)