Tuesday, February 17, 2009

Life is depressing sometimes

Lately I feel like I've been wasting away on my couch, surfing the web and looking at Facebook. I'm feeling really discouraged about everything because it seems like getting out of Florida will be a bigger task than I had anticipated. As a result I have either been laying around being unproductive or gone out drinking (or even stayed in and drank at home). I suppose this is my latest way of dealing with my depression.

Anyway, in order to get out of here now, I will have to either wait for an opening with my company to become available or leave the company entirely. I've been wanting to do the latter for a long time but unfortunately, with today's sucky economy, it will be another difficult task to overcome.

Problem #1: Most companies don't want to bother with an applicant who is not currently residing in the state in which they wish to re-locate to. They have a million other candidates, why settle on the one from out of town?

Problem #2: although I'd love to pick up and leave so that I can look for a job, it's ultra risky. I do have some vacation time saved up but what if I can't find a job in 3 weeks? Chances are I won't, and then what do I do?

Regardless of the problems, I think it might be time to move on. I'm not happy with doing what I am doing and I should do something that motivates me and makes me happy. (Hmm, it's like deja-vu only the last time I had a similar idea it wasn't work I was referring to)

It's funny how these days, things that were once simple are so difficult, like finding a job. I think it's so depressing. Goals that in another point in time were normal and easily attainable seem so far away and unlikely to happen (having a great job, owning a home, being in a perfect relationship). I really expected to have my life be more together at this point in time but I feel like it's a bigger mess than ever, in all aspects. I wonder what will become of me and if it'll all work itself out in the end. All I can do is keep trying.

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